On Dec. 9, 2024, former Duke starting Quarterback Maalik Murphy announced his decision to enter the transfer portal. As a result, the quarterback — who set the Duke record for most passing touchdowns in a single season — forfeited his eligibility to play in the Gator Bowl, Duke’s most prestigious bowl appearance in decades. But what transpired after suggests that Murphy may have actually been pushed out by Duke.
That is, on Dec. 10, former Tulane quarterback Darian Mensah was summoned by the Cameron Crazies to watch Duke men’s basketball dismantle – checks notes – Incarnate Word. Seriously, Manny? You couldn’t have brought him to a better game? The following day, Mensah announced his commitment to Duke University, with reports indicating that the star quarterback would earn $8 million over the next two years — making him the highest-paid athlete in college football history.
Still, I am absolutely certain that it was not the handsome paycheck, but the warm weather, elite academics and “It’s Thyme” that brought him to Duke. Nope, take that back — definitely wasn’t “It’s Thyme.”
At this point, only two things remain to be said.
First, you can suck it Tulane!
Second, the transfer portal has completely redefined Greek life and college sports as we know it. Greek life? What the heck does this have to do with —
Hello everyone. My name is Alex Berkman, and I am a proud brother of the Kappa — you know what, nevermind.
With fraternity rush season now complete, it’s time for a recap. This year was certainly an eventful one. Yike(s), ATOh-no, SadGuy, K AA (Alcoholics Anonymous), and Cig Chi all had impressive turnouts, each securing pledge classes of 25+:often snagging recruits who had received bids from other fraternities. But unfortunately, everyone cannot be a winner — and, there were certainly losers this year. Snuze you lose had yet another disappointing turnout despite the pageantry surrounding its name; meanwhile, Payne.Payne.Payne struggled to lure the international students away from their top competitor — SadGuy.
However, it is what transpired after “Bid Turn In” that made this cycle truly interesting. Namely, a number of fraternities had appeared to develop a new strategy — one that experts have long cautioned against. Perhaps, just as sports adapt their playstyles over time, fraternities evolve in their own way.
The strategy is quite straightforward actually, though clearly effective. Essentially, your goal is simple: During the two-week official rush period, put in the least amount of effort possible when recruiting new members. Don’t text them, don’t acknowledge their existence and never ever laugh at one of their jokes. But why stop there? If you really want to take it up a notch, don’t just avoid trying — actively drive them away! Be a jerk, spill your drink on them or shamelessly flirt with the rushee’s girlfriend. Now is your time to let loose, so take advantage!
But once this unimportant period is over, it is now time to focus. As it stands, all of the freshmen that you bidded have accepted spots to other fraternities. As the freshmen you once spit on rejoice with their new pledge classes, it appears as though your fraternity is the Biggest Loser of rush. Brothers of your fraternity will panic. Calls will be placed to members’ Wall Street parents, pleading for donations to keep your struggling frat afloat. But do not fret. This is precisely where you want to be.
As author Michael Hopf once said, “Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times.” And you, my friend, are a strong man in a hard time. So, as the other fraternities frolic around to “Everytime We Touch” and bathe each other in champagne, it is now time to strike.
With full force, you must lead a coordinated attack to reel in as many freshmen as possible. Do what needs to be done. Spread lies about the freshmen’s current fraternities, tell them that they will be the focal point of your offense, and most importantly, offer them lucrative NIL packages. However, be strategic in how you allocate NIL resources. That is, award funds strategically based on varying levels of talent. For the minnow, one free order of Nachos from Krafthouse will likely be enough to lure them into your frat. But for the big shark, a guaranteed spot at Goldman may not even be enough. You might have to endure a month of sailing the Caribbean with them on your yacht, no matter how insufferable they may be.
Initially, it will be difficult to gain traction, to convince content freshmen into taking a leap of faith to join your seemingly dying fraternity. But this is a game of momentum, and once a few kids join, the floodgates will soon open. Within a week — maybe 10 days — post “Bid Turn In,” you my friend will be a member of the coolest fraternity on campus. Congratulations, and well done.
Now, this was all of course an elaborate story, rooted in zero truth … or at least, we may only speculate the specific details of said NIL packages. What can be said with certainty is that the transfer portal has completely reshaped the landscape of college sports. And, it appears that there has been a residual effect on Greek life as well. With incompetent leadership at the helm of the NCAA, the Interfraternity Council (IFC) appears to have taken inspiration — holding as much authority over fraternity life as the lifeguard at an Olympic swim meet.
Loyalty is no longer a part of the game, and it appears teams are now willing to play “dirty.” The question is — what do the remaining teams that still hold themselves to “honorable standards” do? Do they let themselves fall behind as a victim of their own pride? Or do they adapt to the ruthless ways of modern Greek — sorry, I mean college sports.
Alex Berkman is a Trinity junior. His pieces typically run on alternate Wednesdays.
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