The invitation to visit a paradise island arrives at the right time. My Netflix fix has ended and I’m gutted that the dark comedy series has been cancelled after one season.
If I’m never to see what Jeff Goldblum’s tracksuit-wearing Zeus would have done next, then the cosmos owes me so count me in for a gorgeous Greek getaway.
Moments into my first morning there, I realise we’re not in Kansas (or the Crete of ) any more — but what we are in is a maze.
I’m staying in the main hotel of Club Med Gregolimano on the island of Evia — the modern spelling for Euboea. On the Aegean Sea, it is the country’s second-largest island after Crete — the modern spelling for Krete.
It’s so difficult to figure out the route from bedroom to breakfast. Where’s the Minotaur, I whimper. It doesn’t matter — the reward once I descend the stone steps is worth getting lost.
Because I stroll beside turquoise waters and super-soft sand to every single meal. By night this path is lit by fairy lights.
It may not be Mount Olympus but it sure is heaven.
To borrow from Homer’s epic, it’s been a bit of an odyssey to get here — but worth every moment.
It’s a dream trip — whether you’re a solo traveller joining a group, as I am, among a family (families made up almost half of those travelling there in summer 2024) or part of a couple (the latter form almost a fifth of those holidaying there this year).
Following four hours in the clouds, we are met by Club Med reps and whisked off by coach from Athens before boarding a boat for the last leg of the journey (no sign of mythic ferryman Charon, thank goodness).
We arrive by boat in the dead of night.
Lights glimmering through the darkness and laughter and revelry echoing across the inky waters revive us, as do micro-cocktails served on the jetty.
Welcome to Party Island.
We are promptly presented with Club Med bracelets and settled into our rooms after which we make our way to dinner.
I give my new wristwear a wiggle, nope — this baby isn’t coming off any time soon. What if I want to remove it in the shower, I ask a new-found pal from the coach transfer trip, a seasoned Club Med holidaymaker.
“You can’t take it off — you have to keep it on forever,” she says darkly.
That’s OK, so — the iconic trinkets are to be our pass to food, drink, activities, and all-round merriment during our four-day stay.
Club Med, also known as Club Méditerranée, was founded in 1950 and was the first to introduce the all-inclusive holiday model. This particular deluxe getaway is set in the cape of Gregolimano, framed by pine forests, at the foot of the mountains.
The interior designer Jean-Philippe Nuel ensured the palette in the main hotel bedrooms and cabin accommodation draws on the colours of the Mediterranean, blue, ecru and white.
My sleeping quarters feature an enormous bed, and spacious bathroom complete with a waterfall shower. An L-shaped sofa and chair are set in front of patio doors leading to the balcony.
Night lights twinkle along the path to the indoor-outdoor restaurant, Les Pléiades. The vibe is bougie all-you-can eat buffet meets super-elite gourmet market. Tempting Greek cuisine is on the menu together with global fare.
As for breakfast — they have me at the orange juice. As freshly squeezed fruit juices go, this is hands-down the best I’ve ever tasted. Nectar in disguise.
I should really have thought of a disguise for myself so often do I find myself trotting up to present my glass at the orange-squeezing station every morning.
It puts fire in my belly for the morning activities — beach yoga and Pilates.
Now, Club Med Gregolimano, like all Club Med destinations, is designed for holidaymakers who want to sample new experiences. There’s an impressive array of activities to try out from paddle boarding to sailing to tennis, archery, and aqua-sports.
I thought it would be the outdoor sports that would be the challenge until my first conversation en route on the bus with my been-here, done-that Club Med vacationer. Club Med, it transpires, is hugely into its dress codes for its evening events.
Did I pack glitzy-enough cocktail wear? What! I brought carry-on luggage only. I had glossed over the “themed night” references on the itinerary.
But thank goodness my suitcase errs on the side of tiny-but-magic and I will always manage to squeeze more going-out gúnas in than I can possibly wear — even if the correct phone charger or a shoe might not make the cut.
Dinner on the official opening night has a “white” theme, the following evening everyone wears all-black attire (easy-peasy), and on the final night, the dress code is libre chic.
It’s fun, it’s glam, and it enhances the sense of community that Club Med is about.
Flamenco dancers and saxophonists thread their way around the tables and internationally renowned DJs are on the entertainment billing.
Word to the wise: the French cocktail bar staff take their job very seriously and they’ll remember your preferences. So, if you’ve tried waterskiing a couple of times, for instance, and tend to swagger ashore feeling a bit like James Bond you won’t have to ask them twice how to fix you a martini.
The ethos is also extremely family-friendly. Club Med provides entertainment for all generations which includes fully supervised activities for children.
This enhances the sense of quality time spent together as a family, a mum who’s been on many Club Med trips tells me.
It’s a zero-pressure holiday where you can choose to pick up a new activity with a world-class instructor on hand to guide you. And there’s plenty of scope to savour downtime.
Once I’m done attending an event at the beach bar, I grab my pineapple cocktail and go, moseying along to the Zen pool nearby, where comrades from the group have earlier secured a shaded sunbed for me. Nestled amidst the pines, this pool is reserved for adults.
A wellness afternoon complete with Sothys treatment is pure bliss. Morgane, my therapist, really listens and delivers a custom facial.
I then make a beeline for the relaxation garden to unwind further and that evening rejoin the group for a formal dinner at The Olea restaurant, looked after by super-attentive staff.
On our final day, we explore nearby islands. Our captain Kostas Liberis and his crew of three are game for everything including guest-starring in our extempore production of on the waves.
We alight at a secluded beach where some of us take a dip while the crew set up a bar and barbecue (why does halloumi taste so amazing eaten on a deserted island?).
A man of many talents, captain follows this with a lesson in local dancing (on the sand) before it’s all aboard again.
Next stop is the fishing village St George, where charms to protect against the evil eye stare at us from the souvenir shops we visit on a speedy spree to snap up mementoes — keenly aware the next boat we’ll be boarding is the early-morning vessel arriving at the jetty to start our voyage home.
Not to sound like I’ve drunk the Kool-Aid along with those cocktails (and that divine orange juice) but Gregolimano offers the ultimate escape for all age groups. Your time is your own.
Four-hour flight, Dublin-Athens; coach trip, boat crossing to Evia Island
Seven nights’ all-inclusive stay at Club Med Gregolimano, Greece, from €1,939 per adult (based on double occupancy) with return flights from Dublin with transfers included. Price based on a departure date of 20.09.25.
Food, drink, activities, and entertainment are included. Food is served at all hours of the day or evening.
Club Med Gregolimano extends a special welcome to children from the age of two and provides supervision for kids aged four and up at the Resort’s Mini Club Med+.
For tweens and teens, Teens Club Med (11-13 years) and Chill Pass Club Med (14-17 years) offer recreational, artistic and social activities.
The Gregolimano Resort has three accommodation areas: the Main Hotel, the Olympe Quarter and the Pine Forest.
The Main Hotel is an eight-storey building at the heart of the resort. The Olympe Quarter comprises a cluster of small white buildings.
Each room has a view of the sea or garden. The Pine Forest part of the resort features the Zen pool (for adults).
- Eve was a guest of Club Med, Gregolimano
