“So You want to do a restaurant review whilst fitting into a suit for my sister’s wedding?” asked my puzzled wife setting up the satnav for Alexandros on Warwick Road, Carlisle.
Well what do you do when you are flying 2,500 miles to Heraklion, Crete, to your English sister-in-law’s traditional Greek wedding, you are supposed to be giving her away – but you are marginally overweight?
Well you go to a Greek restaurant, of course, in search of inspiration.
“It’s a dress rehearsal” I explained disarmingly, “I am killing two birds with one stone (literally, being 14Ibs over). You know like Daedalus in Greek Mythology?!”
The logic – good Greek work (This write-up is riddled with Greek words). First you put on weight by eating a fabulous meal and then guilt-ridden with the memory of wonderful food burn off the calories. Call it reverse psychology. Call it buy now, pay later.
Recent crash dieting has included speed walking up Wainwrights with rucksacks containing flasks of black coffee (harsh); daytime fasting (miserable); and attempting burpees (humiliating)
I needed an escape.
The greatest form of marketing is word of mouth and I have only heard encouraging things about Alexandros like an enticing Shangri-La willing me over the threshold.
This fabled Greek restaurant has been long overdue on my Cumbrian bucket list which has seen me scramble Catbells at dusk, paddleboard on Loweswater and drink a cold beer in Keswick’s Dog & Gun.
Alexandros Carlisle (Image: Newsquest)
It is 5.30pm on the Saturday before Easter and Alexandros is already looking busy before we are seated. We meet the charming owners, husband and wife team and Aris and Sarah Pathanoglous They are celebrating the 25th anniversary of the restaurant in Carlisle. Their family business. Alexandros is elegantly decorated in Grecian trimmings and eye-catching paintings of Greece including the great man himself Alexander The Great. It is a very relaxed setting. Sparkling water is proffered. Menus scrutinised.
Husband and wife team Sarah and Aris (Image: Newsquest)
Like a time capsule that is set in Cumbria but takes you on a journey, the restaurant is rolling back the years.
French novelist Marcel Proust said that food has the restorative power of nostalgia. A smell or taste of food can transport you back in time. Dipping that gorgeous Greek bread into Tzatziki and the clock rewinds to the summer of 1996. I am back in Ioannina, Northern Greece, younger, thinner and working as a TEFL teacher.
I am eating Greek salad by Preveza with a pint of Amstel and reading John Fowles The Magus.
The famous Greek Drachma with Alexander The Great (Image: Newsquest)
It is searingly hot. There was no European Union. No Euro notes. You could flip a 100-drachma coin and it could land heads or tails on the famous profile of Alexandros. The Greek Prime Minister Andreas Papandreou and his much younger air hostess wife ‘Mimi’ is a big talking point. Tension is mounting between Turkey and Greece over a disputed island called Imia.
Hilary Clinton is in Athens to collect the Olympic Torch for Atlanta 1996. Topping the charts in the bars of my favourite coastal resort of Parga are Spaceman by Babylon Zoo and Fool’s Garden Lemon Tree. It seems appropriate as Northern Greece is the fruit basket.
Taxi drivers don’t use seat belts as they speed through the streets with Bouzouki music playing on the radio.
Crete (Image: Newsquest)
Greece was all about turning up the volume on the senses, the aroma of orange trees and olive groves. The taste of baked aubergine and garlic in a Taverna, the salty sweet smell of the Ionian sea.
Sipping (Ellinikos kafes) Greek coffee, twiddling Kombo Loi (beads). Greeks I often found were consummate people watchers. Looking on with wry amusement as North Europeans busy themselves trying to pack a lifetime of sunshine and relaxation into a fortnight. A mulishly stubborn raised eyelids or a sardonic shrug of the shoulder speak volumes. For the Greeks there is nothing new under the sun.
How to pack the promise of adventure onto a plate? The food we ordered was exquisite. Greek salad – crisp, creamy with sharp feta and a subtle drizzle of olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Moussaka made from a traditional recipe. Tyrokafteri, Spicy Feta, Melitzanosalata, aubergine dip, the starter is a mind-boggling trinity of delectable flavours washed down by a delicate white wine, Makedonikos, Tsantali from Halkidi. A Dionysian feast of aromas, tastes and textures that ooze that Mediterranean allure of sun-kissed isles.
It conjures excitement and anticipation as the family talk is all about the forthcoming wedding.
This is the first time the English and Greek families have met formally. Good manners and cultural etiquette will be meticulously observed. First impressions last. Tread carefully.
Cretans are some of the most welcoming, hospitable people in the world but they don’t suffer fools. Their fearsome partisan spirit was best depicted in WWII films Guns of Navarone with Gregory Peck and Ill Met by Moonlight starring Dirk Bogarde.
Eating here reminds me of the past and the future. Traditional food with a modern outlook.
Stunned by this spellbinding culinary masterpiece there was temptation to burst onto Warwick Road and proclaim ‘Eureka!’. To avoid a few disconcerted looks and possibly arrest I just sat back and savoured that rare refined satisfaction you have when you’ve truly enjoyed a splendid meal. Greek food elevated par excellence.
A full house of clean plates. “Best food ever” proclaims my McDonald’s mad 12-year-old who has cleaned a plate of Paidakia lamb chops.
Delicious Moussaka (Image: Newsquest)
For those craving ‘encore’ there is an adjoining deli to take a few delicacies back home. Racks of wines and olive oils. For those sweet toothed among you – Baklava.
We leave this far flung Grecian restaurant in Carlisle to the sounds of clinking wine glasses, exuberant chatter and Aris Pathanoglous smiling standing with a clipboard like a Maestro composer.
Happy Place, Happy faces. The body language all looks positive. This restaurant is a triumph. It could sit comfortably in Ermou Street, Athens, Covent Garden, London, Trattoria Vecchia, Rome and hold its own. But it’s not. It’s on Warwick Road, Carlisle, where it has conquered the city like Alexander The Great. A Herculean champion of dining, inspiration, hard work, impeccable service, and philosophy. The perfect fusion of tantalising authentic Greek food provenanced in Cumbria.
So I say ‘Yamas!’ to Alexandros – Thank you for a sumptuous gastronomic tour down memory lane. The perfect dress rehearsal for my fat(ish) Greek Wedding.
Now for a few Wainwrights and that diminutive suit…
For more information about Alexandros click here
ere Suit option for Crete (Image: Newsquest)
